This Is What Happens When The Boys Get Star Wars Toys For Christmas And I Get Star Trek Figures For My Birthday

Go Fly A Kite

My Mom came to visit us a few weekends ago, and among all the things that she brought with her, she brought a kite, a gift for Henry that she had promised on her previous trip. He had originally asked for a rainbow kite, and I believe her when she says she looked everywhere for it because she is the type to look everywhere for just the right gift. But in the end, it was a giant lizard kite, and from the way Henry reacted, you would think it was all he'd ever wanted. Any thought of a rainbow kite was completely forgotten.

The three of us, my Mom, Henry, and I, walked down the street to the elementary school at the end of the block. Next to the building, they have playgrounds and a  basketball court, but beyond that is a giant field, empty save a bit of plant life, plenty of room to let the wee folks set loose with their imagination. Or, as in our case, try to catch a bit of wind. The wind wasn't raging, but it wasn't exactly still either.

The funny thing is, most of what I remember of that day's kite-flying is repeated frustration. Again and again we tried to get that lizard up in the air, but most of our attempts ended with the kite slamming itself back down to the rain-softened planet. We had a few successes, but most of those were short-lived.

But now as I flip back through the few pictures I managed to snap that day, just about everything I see shows that kite in the air. Selective documentation at its finest.

Then we went and sat by a dinosaur. Good day.

Home Security Elmo

So peep those images off to the right. Your other right. That way ->

Find any of that intriguing? At all? In the least?

Well here's the deal. Those images over there, along with a whole lot of others like them, tell a little story that I put up on DadCentric. It's told in two parts, which I have helpfully linked to down below. Go check 'em out, eh?

A Better Mousetrap - Part I

A Better Mousetrap - Part II

Enjoy!

I guess you'd call that daddy style?

First, a bit of post pimpage: my latest contribution to the wonderful world of Dadcentric concerns breastmilk and the perversity that it inspires. Also, it is very mildly NSFW, as is this very post you are reading, for it features this fine illustration:

So go. Look. Find out why in the hell I drew such a thing.

And speaking of perversity, it seems that even the most innocent child's toy can conjur up the most salacious thoughts in our young people. You see, we have this toy:
It affixes to the refrigetor by means of magnets, and comes with a series of small magnets that make up the front and back of different animals, such as the cow shown above. If you match the front and back of a given animal, it sings a little song about that animal, concluding with the sound that the animal makes. However, if you mismatch the front and back to create some ungodly monstrosity, the toy will still sing a song for you. For example, if you put the duck's head with the pig's ass, you'll get to hear that happy little frog sing this:

You put a duck in front,
You put a pig behind.
Put them together
And what do you find?
A duck-pig?
That's silly!

Well, our children have heard these songs several million times now, so that little tune is emblazoned upon their memories, or at least that of my eldest, as evidenced by the song that he sang for us this evening:

You put a mommy in front,
You put a daddy behind.
Put them together
And what do you find?

I'm not sure how he concluded the verse, for I and The Ash were howling with laughter at our son's unwitting Yanchovichization. Three years old and already he's singing dirty songs. That's my boy!

Go to your happy place

This is a box that once contained patio furniture.

That's all it was. And now that it's sitting in the garage waiting for recycling day, who knows what fate will befall it. But for a brief shining moment, it got to be something more. And all I had to do was cut a little door into its side.

And just like that, this simple hunk of cardboard switched from the product containment and transportation industry to the business of child's play. For a time, it seemed as if the box was going to become a permanent fixture in Henry's little routine. It became his default hiding place. It was the place he would go when he was upset and just needed a moment.

Of course, I didn't typically ruin it for him by poking a camera in, but I had to document it somehow.

Alas, his fascination with the box was short lived, and it quickly devolved into being just another inhabitant of too much space. But before getting rid of it, I just had to check it out for myself.

And I have to admit, I understood the appeal. Though getting out was a bit of a challenge.

And with that, our days of transmogrifier ownership ended.

If BushCo decides to invade the Island of Sodor

This gets me every time

Pillar's Lament

Click for larger view.

Never ask this dog about his business

I came up with about a dozen different captions for this picture while I was rocking Henry back to sleep. Rather than foolishly agonize over which one to choose, I decided to just go with my first choice and then throw it open for a good old fashioned caption contest to see what you good people come up with. So please, leave your caption suggestions in the comments. Winner gets to win.