Saturday, December 30, 2006

Holden Caulfield went on to coach little league

So today we attended the wedding of our friends Rob and Liz. Rob and Liz. I like the sound of couple names. I’m sentimental that way, you know. Two first names melded into one, joined only by a conjunction, to describe a single couple unit. I just like the sound of ‘em. Travis and Ashley. Tim and Julie. Sean and Anna. Kelly and Alan. Guillermo and Winnifred. Rob and Liz. I just like the sound of ‘em, that’s all. Don’t look at me like that.

I don’t know any people named Guillermo or Winnifred.

It was a gorgeous wedding though, complete with a beautiful hill country backdrop and peacocks, oh yes, peacocks, even an albino one. It was one of those weddings that reminds you why we still have them. Weddings, if done as beautifully as the one we attended today and as beautiful as The Ash and I tried to make ours, are a lot like the Constitution of the United States. Perhaps this isn’t the strongest analogy, but what I means is that they present an ideal that, although you may never attain and that you may continually fall short of, is worthy of striving for. And being reminded of that ideal is good for those of us who are already on that commitment ride.

I’m glad I went today because the close of this here 2006 holiday season finds the Holmes in an odd mood. Grumpy. Cranky. Irritable. Prone to using synonyms. Pretty much displeased about most everything to do with the holidays. I’m sure part of it had to do with moving and being unsettled at a time of year when you’d really rather not be. But I think it was more than just the move that had my feathers ruffled. I honestly felt like this was a Charlie Brown year for me, one where I was looking around and wanting to find some sort of deeper meaning somewhere. I think it’s the fact that, now that Ashley and I are family folk, there’s a responsibility that sits with us to help define what we want this time of year to be about for our son and any other kids we may have. And for some reason, almost everything this year seemed to have about as much depth as a J.C. Penny’s commercial. It all seemed to piss me off somehow, whether it was Santa Claus or Jesus or people arguing about Santa Claus and Jesus, it all just seemed so two-dimensional. It’s funny, I thought I’d gotten over the complete bastardization of this whole time of year, but now that I have a child, it all seems to have come to the surface again.

There were, thankfully, exceptions to this cynical rule. Watching Henry (sort of) open his presents….he seemed to not make a whole lot of distinction between the paper and the gift inside, and that’s totally cool. Watching Ashley open her present from me. My new pea coat from Ashley. Christmas dinner with the in-laws. Watching Advent candles being lit. Winter solstice party with the Bedlam Faction kids. Anchor Christmas Ale. Checking out the tree of lights down at Zilker (we didn’t make it to the trail of lights this time). And now Rob and Liz’s wedding. Between my fits of “searching for meaning” these things all added up to a pretty damn meaningful and enjoyable holiday.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

(almost) Completely Moved & New Thundercloud Slogan, sure to sell boatloads more sandwiches

So today was the big moving day, and I'm buttass tired. Yes, you read right: buttass. Ponder that one on your own.

For moving day lunch time (for even semi-pro movers have to eat) my moving buddy Shayne and I bopped on over to the Thundercloud Subs near the new place. This is one of the few Thundercloud franchises I had never visited before, so I was relieved to see that, like all the others in town, this one is also staffed by stoners. Stoners who know how to make kickass sandwiches. Which made me think that perhaps they need to ditch their "fresh, fast, and healthy" marketing slogan in favor of something along the lines of

"Thundercloud Subs: because only a stoner really knows how to make a sandwich."

Except as soon as I came up with that slogan, I instantly thought of three other Austin chains that could use that slogan, substituting the word "sandwich" with "pizza", "burritos", or "ice cream."

Thursday, December 14, 2006

This was actually fun

Because I'm moving and this is the only kind of blogging I have much time for:

1. Open your library on your Zen or Ipod or other MP3 player
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question press the next button

Opening Credits: My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys - Willie Nelson. As long as the movie's not a western, this'll work. If it's a western, it's too stupidly obvious, and I'm already sending it back to Netflix.

Waking up: The News (A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Microsoft Inc.) - Del Tha Funkee Homosapien. Ah, I see, waking up from the dreaming about cowboys in the previous song to the reality of the modern world. How...clever.

Falling in love: Lazy Dreamer - Liz Phair. Hmm, Liz Phair for the falling in love song? This movie's at least NC-17. And beautiful in a sad kind of way.

Fight song: Lonely As You - Foo Fighters. Nice.

Break up song: From the Morning - Nick Drake. Any Nick Drake song would've worked here, eh?

Making Up: Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie - Black Flag. "Sitting here like a loaded gun, waiting to go off." This doesn't really work so much as a make-up song, but more for the scene where the broken up couple finds themselves reluctantly alone together and they end up having angry hate sex. And one of them is Henry Rollins.

Life's Okay: Shame on a Nigga - Wu-Tang Clan. I guess "life's okay" in this movie means the hero is recovered from his or her injuries, back on the street, and ready to kick some ass.

Mental Breakdown: The Tain - The Decemberists. Wow, that one's actually pretty perfect.

Driving: Toxicity - System of a Down. For the angry beat-the-steering-wheel driving scene. So is this "Office Space" or "Falling Down"?

Flashbacks: Fixation - The Coup. Here, our hero flashes back to his or her life as an underground communist hip-hop activist.

Happy Dance: Surface - Denali. Where our hero is overjoyed to watch as the world is cast permanently into various shades of gray.

Regret: It's Up To You - The Specials. If you have to feel regret, having The Specials for your soundtrack is probably your best bet. It will likely prevent you from taking your stupid regret too seriously and doing something dumb.

Final Battle: Guess Things Happen That Way - Johnny Cash. This would have been a better regret song, eh? I guess this would work if the final battle was between two lovers and one reluctantly had to kill the other, but then they missed them immediately after the fight. Yeah, I like that. Yes, this song juxtaposed over a fight...that sounds good.

Death Scene: Almost Done - Morcheeba. Oh that's nice! Let it speak for itself: "I always knew the truth, always nice to have some proof....tears run down my face as you spray me with your mace. I thank you. I'd love to cut your throat."

Final Credits: Nightshop - Fugazi. Hmmm, clearly the antihero must win out in an unexpected twist.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Stabby thing that goes stab

At dinner this evening, Henry successfully navigated food from his tray to his mouth with a fork. The food in question was avocado, followed by some acorn squash. He's been working on it for some time now. He took a few bites with the fork, but then ditched it in favor of his reliable little fingers.

"I thought it would be the coolest thing ever, eating with a fork," he seemed to say, "but it just didn't live up to the hype." He shoveled some more acorn squash down his gullet, leaving a bit on his face. "I guess I just had it so built up in my mind, there was no way fork eating could have possibly met my expectations."

"I know how it is son," I would have said, had this conversation actually taken place. "Just wait for the follow-up album of about 50% of your favorite bands. Or for your favorite book to get made into a movie."

The fork laid on the floor where it had fallen. It had no comment.