Monday, November 29, 2010

Movember: Please Come To A Merciful End

Allright, Mr. Mustache, you've got one day left. Hope you enjoy it because my face and I are quite ready to be rid of you. I'm tired of looking like a junior high basketball coach.

Now then folks, let not this mustache have been grown in vain. Toss some of your sweet American dollars at us to help fight the bastard whore's child that is cancer. As of this evening, team DadCentric looks to be a bit over $1100. Help push us even farther!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Movember Week 4

I was all set up to snap a picture or two to document the mustache's state here in the last quarter of Movember, but then a certain little Hamster came along and, well, we just ended up fooling around with Photo Booth. But where I go, the stache goes, so this counts:

We should take this act on the road. "Stache and Son" they'll call us. Remember folks, just seven more days to chip in to help us raise money to fight the evil dirty hateful bastard cancer. It's the handsome thing to do!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Friday, November 19, 2010

A Spot Of Encouragement

We recently moved our bookcases from upstairs down to the office where we situated them on the wall behind my desk. The day after making this move, I was sitting at my desk, diligently working away on one masterpiece or another when I heard the call of nature. I swiveled around in my chair to stand and was met with quite a start. You see, I had grown used to meeting a blank wall when I turned, but instead, I came face to face with this:

That black and white face looming over those poor frightened paperbacks is Neil Gaiman, one of my favorite authors and famous English people, seen here peering out at the world from the back cover of his wonderful novel, American Gods. Well, that particular copy is mine because I paid for it, but he wrote it, so I guess it's really more his. That serious expression he's wearing caught me rather off-guard.

"Oh," I laughed, "hi Neil." And then he really surprised me.

Er? This is not the kind of interaction I'm used to having with a book, I thought.

"Oh!" I said. "Uh, I was just, uh, going to the bathroom."

"Yeah," I said. "Is that okay?"

"Well no, but I--"

"Okay, I get it. You've written a lot of books. I just need to pee, okay?"

"I just need to pee, Neil. I've been sitting here for over an hour."

"Oh that's enough out of you."

I got up and went to the bathroom, grumbling under my breath the whole time. I checked my email on my phone where he couldn't see me, got a cup of coffee, and looked in on the boys. When I sat back down at my desk, I had every intention of ignoring him, but I could feel those unblinking two-dimensional eyeballs of his looking at me. At least it's not Stephen King. 

Unable to concentrate, I turned back to Neil.

"I do, actually. Thanks for asking."

And so I did.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Movember Week 3: The Mustache Gets A Pep Talk

Oh, mustache. It's not your fault. It's just that we happen to live in this particular era which was preceded by particular other eras, the fashions and fads of which we now can't help but find to be uproariously funny, just as the people of the future will no doubt find this current era to be so hilarious. I mean, check out Burt Reynolds:

Dude was the man back then, right? The fucking Bandit! And that stache? Well it was all part of the appeal. I mean, who the hell is this?

You see? Without the mustache, it's just not the same Burt.

But you see, my little mustache, we live in a post-Burt-Reynolds-is-the-man world. Sure, he's still great. I got nothing against him. But living in a post-Burt-Reynolds-is-the-man world, a post-Magnum P.I. world, it means that things from those worlds are considered kind of corny. And you, my friend, are one of those things. As the rest of my face has probably noticed, I can't seem to look in the mirror these days without making some goofy-ass cheesedick expression, and I hate to tell you this, but it's because of you. The eyes know it, the nose knows it, the mouth, the brows, everybody. Hell, even my feet are talking about you. Word travels fast around here.

But rest assured, my caterpillarly little friend, just because you're not currently considered to be the height of fashion, it doesn't mean that you're unworthy. In fact, you've got a whole month devoted to you: Movember. And you're doing a lot of good, too. Because throughout Movember, you and others like you are prompting people to donate some of their hard-earned dollars to help fight the dirty evil cancer. Tell that to the eyeballs next time they snicker at you.

Also, my wonderful friend Erin not only donated some cashola to the cause, she also sent me this mustache-themed video. It did give me some LOLs. Have a sense of humor about yourself, stache. It's going to be okay.

Monday, November 08, 2010

Movember Week 2: Banish All Doubt

As you can see, we have moved beyond the realm of the ambiguous. It's there:

It's going to be quite a month. Remember, as much as I love entertaining people with goofy pictures of myself, this here 'stache growth is also for a cause. I know, huge sacrifice on my part. Hop over to my Movember page, check out the rest of the team, and give us your money. Which is to say, give the people who are fighting cancer your money. In 2010 more than 32,000 dudes, mustached and otherwise, will die as a direct result of prostate cancer. That just blows. 

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

High-Fives Across The Dinner Table Are Totally Acceptable In Our House

With apologies to those of you not familiar with Dr. Who.

Last night at dinner, while reflecting upon my freshly-debearded face, my wife offered up an observation. “You know, if we found the right suit, you could maybe pull off the David Tennant Dr. Who next Halloween.”

“Oh yeah?” I said. I kind of love David Tennant, so I take this as something of a compliment, albeit perhaps an inaccurate one.

“Yeah,” she said. “And since all his companions dress pretty normal, I guess I could just go as any of them. I could be, uh, uh--”

“Nah, you don’t need to be one of his companions,” I said. Being one of the companions from the Dr. Who series, at least the modern version, would make for a pretty boring costume since they mostly dress in modern clothing, the only exception being when they choose to dress in accordance with the time and place in which they’ve landed, which they don’t always. I’m not sure what rule they follow to decide whether or not they should suit up. But I digress.

“You could be, uh, uh....” I continued, floundering for an idea for an appropriate match that would make a good costume.

“Oh, I know!” she shouted. “I could be the TARDIS!”


“Which is perfect, you know, since you get to be inside me!”

Big guffaws. High-fives across the table. The boys seemed amused, if not a bit confused.

“Oh my god!” I said. “It’s bigger on the inside than it is on the outside! How is that possible?!”

More high-fives. Giggles all the way to bedtime.

Monday, November 01, 2010

Remember, Remember, Grow a 'Stache In Movember

Ah, Movember. The time when men everywhere offer their upper lips as canvasses upon which to paint that most questionable bit of facial hair, the moustache. Why in the name of Freddie Mercury would we do such a silly thing?

Movember is all about raising funds and awareness about cancer, specifically the kind that affect men. 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed with cancer in his lifetime. 1 in 6 of those dudes will be diagnosed with prostate cancer. A man is 35% more likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer than a woman is to be diagnosed with breast cancer. That is simply not cool.

Now normally I wear a beard upon this face of mine. It wasn’t the gnarliest beard in the city of Austin. That honor goes to my buddy, Bill. No really, he got a trophy and everything. Here’s a picture of bill and I with our beards and our beers.

Gnarly, no?

This year, Team DadCentric is throwing its weight behind Movember, and we’re asking for your help. Here’s the ways that you can:

Give us money! Pop on over to my Movember page and click the Donate To Me or Donate To My Team button to give us a few bucks. I don’t really care which, either one is awesome. The funds raised will benefit the Prostate Cancer Foundation and LIVESTRONG.

Dudes! Wanna grow your own ‘stache? Join the DadCentricians by signing up as a Mo Bro. Shave up and start to growing.

Ladies! I know your upper lips are facially challenged, but you can sign up to be a Mo Sista and join the cause.

So here’s me day one, clean shaven, beard-free.

 Watch this space for updates on this face. And fear not, my friends. Handsomeness prevails.