Tuesday, July 22, 2008

365 # 22: Principal R.

You, sir, are an asshole. You took over as the principal of my middle school in my 8th grade year, and promptly went about turning it into the kind of place where nobody wanted to be. It was a private Baptist school, so it was already more restrictive than your average educational facility, but you found ways to make it even more so because that's just the kind of guy you are, you with your pasty pervert's grin and that pathetic combover and those ridiculous powder blue polyester suits. Powder blue?! Polyester?! You were a full decade behind!

Case in point: you once expelled a kid for drawing a Metallica logo on the front of his binder. Not satisfied with having the little devil worshiper removed from your school, you contacted the public school where he was transferring to try to warn them against taking him. You also refused to send over any of his paperwork. In short, you attempted to prevent him from getting an education. You Christian fucking soldier, you.

I once heard somebody refer to you as a "dildo with a hairline." Being in 8th grade, I hadn't the slightest clue what a dildo was, but it sounded insulting enough. I repeated this statement to my mom while we were seated in a crowded restaurant. After choking on her coffee, she asked if I knew what a dildo was. Then she got to tell me. So I guess you could say that it's because of you that I first learned about dildos. Congratulations!

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