365 # 17: Diane J.

Yeah yeah, I know, you're Diane E. now, but you were Diane J. back when I knew you, and you're not even with the guy that gave you that E. anymore, so Diane J. it is. Plus it's my blog, so there.

You were the cute freckled redhaired girl who played the lead in the UIL play during our junior year. We had somehow managed to never have a class together, and thus had never met before this particular theatrical undertaking. But I had certainly seen you around school and knew who you were, so I was a bit intimidated being in your presence. Hell, I was intimidated around nearly all pretty girls, that's just how I did things back then. Turns out, you also knew who I was, which came as a bit of a surprise. I was totally shocked when you persisted in talking to me, then I was completely floored when you offered to drive me home after rehearsal one night, and I think my heart pretty much stopped when you told me you liked me. Such things had not yet occurred in my universe. This whole "being liked back by someone" was new and strange and kinda nice, and not without its own type of emotional turmoil, though it was much warmer and fuzzier than that whole unrequited love bit. "So this is what it's like," I seem to recall thinking. "Yeah, I like this. I'll take more of this. And then seconds."

Your character in the play was bound to a wheelchair. After rehearsal one night, Mrs. Morris took the cast and crew out to eat. When we got to the restaurant, you sat in your wheelchair and I pushed you inside. After we'd taken our table, you stood up to walk, and we all screeched "It's a miracle!" High school kids are fucking assholes.

You know, it just occurred to me...I'm not sure if I ever told you that you were my first kiss. Surely I must have, but just in case, uh, see above. Yeah, yeah, I know you probably don't read this, but that's sorta how I'm writing these things.

We stopped seeing each other after a while, but then started again senior year. We ended up going to prom together, but I think we spent most of the night hanging out with other people. Then it was off to college and we lost touch for a couple of years. Then in my third year at UT, we somehow managed to reconnect. At this point, we actually reached the point of using terms like "boyfriend" and "girlfriend." It was like some kind of a real relationship or something. And it was good. Great even. Obviously, it didn't last, but that had less to do with any of our incompatibilities and more to do with the fact that I had gone and gotten myself involved in some bad shit. Along with a few other friends, you were there to help me get out. That whole ordeal pretty much closed the books on our relationship, but it somehow brought us closer in a different kind of way.

You had always been told by your doctors that you would never be able to have children. I was ecstatic for you when I heard the news that you were pregnant. Jeez, I can't believe we're both parents now.