Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I Build and I Sing and I Sing and I Build

My mom's Christmas present to the boys was a big backyard playset, complete with swings, a slide, a treehouse, the whole works. It arrived at my house in three enormous cardboard boxes, every piece separate, not a lick of it pre-assembled or labeled. I've now devoted approximately 2.5 days to its construction, and I estimate I've got at least another day left before it's done.

Most of today was spent working on the enclosed cabin part of the structure. This is the place where I predict the boys will go when they're mad at us. I expect those walls will be witness to many a hatched plan, conspired conspiracy, and gathering of small people. I wonder how long until one of them decides to snag some extra fabric from Mom's sewing room to hang in the windows so's nobody can see what they're up to.

Anyway, while I was sitting four feet off the ground in the cabin, Henry kept looking up at me and asking if he could climb up with me. I kept telling him that he couldn't come up until I had it all built, but then it occurred to me, aw crap, once thing thing is all put together, he'll be climbing all over it. I wonder how long before the first good fall? I gotta shred me up some tires before somebody breaks an arm.

So while I was screwing in the billion-odd wooden slats that make up the house's walls, I had rap lyrics running through my head, one of which was Talib Kweli saying "It's a small wonder like Vicki/that I'm picky..." and I don't remember what comes after that, but I got stuck on that part because my internal singer--you know, the little person inside your head that sings when you don't feel like singing out for all the world to hear? Well that little guy started singing the theme song to "Small Wonder." And before I knew it, he'd sung the whole goddamn song. I let my drill hang at my side and took my finger off of its trigger while I let that little fact sink in: Holmes, you know the entire theme song to "Small Wonder." Sometimes when I remember old shows like that, I'm not certain if I should trust my memory. Like "Parker Lewis Can't Lose" or "Square Pegs." I ask myself, were these shows really on T.V. at one point? Or do I just have some false memory of them? Could it be that perhaps I was the only person in the world watching them?

I was pondering all of this later on while I was rocking Simon to sleep. It occurred to me that I could've tweeted about knowing the "Small Wonder" theme, but the moment was passed. Ah well, I can live with a bit of tweetgret.

Tweetgret: noun. The feeling of regret that one experiences upon realizing that an opportunity to tweet has passed.

I shouldn't have been surprised that I knew that song. My brain is a magnet for lyrics that I don't want to remember. Like the other day, I was being silly and I started singing the chorus to a Tori Amos song, thinking that I would only sing a line or two, but then I realized that I knew the whole fucking thing. And yes, I sang it out. You might say I belted it. I'm not what you'd call a Tori Amos fan, more like an antifan. But somehow, every woman that I've ever dated, married, or otherwise had cause to exchange fluids with over the course of a significant span of time has been a Tori devotee. Which is why if you put on Little Earthquakes, I could probably sing along with 80 - 99% of it. And I'd do it too, just out of spite. Spite for who or what? Can't say, my friends. I just can't say.

Maybe I'll post about the holidays at some point.


Shonda Little said...

The one my dad got my boys said it would take 2 skilled laborers 20 hours to put together. My husband, who is generally a workaholic overachiever, he was going to begin to screw with that, so Dad actually hired skilled laborers and it took them every bit of 20 hours.
Also, you forgot to mention all the bumps and bruises that will be attained leaping off of said playhouse. Boys, right!

yer mama said...

One should never be ashamed to sing Tori Amos outloud. However, if one knows the lyrics better than one's wife, then shame is a possibility that should be looked into.

Of course if you had caught me when I was 19 and not 26 then I could have out lyric-ed you with Tori. We could have had a Tori singathon. You would probably have turned down my challenge though under the fear that boys who sing Tori dont get laid.

And you have done a fabulous job with the treehouse/swingset/boy habitat.

Julie said...

I assure you, "Parker Lewis Can't Lose" and "Square Pegs" were both real shows. Two of my favorites growing up, actually. I don't remember the Parker Lewis theme (although I remember that Parker Lewis was played by Corin Nemec for some reason), but I do remember Square Pegs.
"Square Pegs, Square Pegs, Square, Square, Square PEGS!'
Ah, I could rule the world if my brain wasn't full of all that crap.
"She's a small wonder..." is all I remember of that "wonderful" little show.