So I sort of work in a cave.
Not exactly a cave, but I'm way down at the end of a row of cubicles. It's cool being next to a window, but sometimes it's a bit quiet. There's plenty of other cubes around me, but one of them is empty, and two are occupied by people who are in the office irregularly. Thus, I find myself alone quite a bit of the time.
In a seemingly unrelated but totally related matter, we have an all-employees meeting every month to talk about how kickass the company is doing. Every month during said meeting, the Q&A session inevitably includes somebody asking if they can get a particular office supply. Red pens. Green highlighters. Functioning staplers. And every month, the answer is the same, just go see the office manager lady and she'll hook you up.
So I was looking around my little cave cube dwelling the other day when I was completely by myself, and I decided that I needed a plant. And I decided that a plant qualified as an office supply. So I went to the office manager lady's desk.
HOLMES: So we're supposed to talk to you about office supplies, right?
LADY: (grabs pad and pen, ready to take down The Holmes's request) That's right! What can I do for you?
HOLMES: I need a plant.
LADY: (uncertain) A plant?
HOLMES: Yeah. See, it's kinda dark over where I sit.
LADY: And a plant would brighten it up?
HOLMES: Well it'd add some life to the place.
LADY: I see. What kind of plant?
HOLMES: (indicating nearby plant) I don't care. I'll take this one.
LADY: You can't have that one.
HOLMES: Okay. Well just a plant really.
LADY: And you don't care what kind?
HOLMES: I'd prefer it didn't try to eat me.
LADY: (writing on her pad) One plant. Okay, I'll see what I can do.
I had about zero expectation of actually receiving this request. If I wanted a plant in my cube, I'd hafta bring it from home.
Except, about an hour later, the Office Manager Lady shows up with a plant. A living green plant. "Here you go" she chirped, and set it on my desk. I couldn't believe it.
So now I have a plant. Yay for unexpected responses to smartass requests.