Thursday, January 25, 2007

Fuck this shitty-ass restaurant experience we just had

I don't promise this will be coherent or readable.

So the Ash and the Baby Henry and I all went down to this semi-hoity-toity-ish kinda restaurant for the Ash's niece's birthday dinner with the family. You know the type of place I mean -- the decor is trendy, the lighting is track, the portions are tiny, the prices are high, even the busboys are snobby, etc. I always feel like I've been suckered when I go to a place like that, particularly at the moment when they bring the food out and there's more plate visible than food, and you think to yourself, I'm paying how much for that?!?! The waiter might as well cackle in your ear.

The shit part of the evening wasn't really the fault of the restaurant though. See, by the time the meal was all said and done, it was past Henry's bedtime. This isn't a huge deal most of the time, but it does mean that he's going to be more prone to crying, which he did a bit. And at one point, he let loose a blast that, I'll grant you, could be harnessed for military usage. And some old sad pathetic wrinkled fuck at another table had the motherfucking nerve to mock my kid. I'm getting pissed just thinking about this again. He like, made fun of Henry's crying in a mean way, as if to communicate something to the effect of "Hey you people with the kid, you're interrupting my sad old bastard dinner that I'd like to finish eating before I die alone and hated by everyone who's ever had the misfortune to know me." Fucking asshole.

I, of course, said nothing to the man. I didn't actually hear his baby-mocking because Henry was screaming in my ear at the moment. I only heard about it from Ash's family after dinner was over, so I basically sat there fuming while we waited for the check and Ash's sisters talked about guys and fake tits and all the same shit they always talk about. I managed to walk out of the place without saying anything to the motherfucker. Perhaps I'm a wuss, I'll be the first to admit that I don't like confrontation. Or maybe I just was able to convince myself that it wouldn't have solved anything. If you want to eat at a restaurant without being in danger of maybe hearing a baby cry, then I suggest that you call the fucking restaurant ahead of time and ask if they have high chairs. This particular place, as trendy as it is, seemed to have enough high chairs to seat a baby at every table in the place. If you don't want to be reminded that all people were once little, then don't go to places like that. Go somewhere the fuck else. Or eat at home where nobody has to look at you.

Okay, maybe I'm better now. Hey, at least we didn't get kicked out of the restaurant. Or off a plane.

5 comments:

Carol said...

Oh My! You did great! I can understand you being angry-I would have been angry too! What is so great is you didn't embarass yourself (and your family) by reacting to this ignorant man! Sounds like your son is exactly where he is supposed to be!

Whit said...

I work in a family restaurant(lots of high-chairs and baby carrier swings) and it is amazing how many people come in and ask if they can be sat in a quiet area. We always just say sure and take them where we take everyone else. Silly people!
We also just went to Disneyland recently and because it was New Years and it was packed we ate in the bar above Ariel's Grotto and some little twit with her boyfriend commented to him as I was walking by with the boys, "oh look kids in a bar",(insert sneering face and condscending tone) I turned to her and said "yep, that's right kids in a bar" I was so irritated with her. When I told Whit he felt the same, he kept looking for her all night so he could say something to her. We didn't see her again.
***Whit's Wife***

Whit said...

I'll second what the wife said (see above). I'll tell you what though, you did the right thing, unfulfilling as it may have felt.

I most likely would have been the exact same way. The thing that jackasses like that have to watch out for is the guy that isn't like that, or worse yet, me- the one time I do hear him and I've just come from the job I loathe waiting on other jackasses and I've just polished off a beer or two.

That time would have been bad for both of us, because I probably would have smashed his big ol' face in his little empty plate.

What the fuck man, now you have me all pissed off and I live over 1200 miles away!

Brent said...

Wow, I've never had anyone do anything that I've found offensive towards my children but God help me on that day. I get the feeling that they guy is damn lucky YOU didn't hear him directly. I only know 3 things worth fighting for and my children/family is right there at the top of the list. It's good that you were able to get out of there having not made a scene though but just reading it! UGH!

KWiz said...

Wow! (I say that alot...) I have a little girl who is not yet two, so I can relate. And I did write a post about that airline incident as well...People can be so wickedly insensitive...