I'm not playing with myself

I tend to walk around with a lot of crap in my pockets....keys, wallet, and most recently a cell phone. It was even worse when I smoked and had to deal with my cigs and a lighter. I don't keep my wallet in my back pocket anymore since I figured out that it was hurting my back sitting on it all day. So all that junk in my pocket tends to shift around and poke into my leg and generally make me uncomfortable, so I'm frequently reaching in there and shifting stuff around, which, I realize, may look to some as if I'm playing with myself in a semi-enthusiastic fashion. But I'm not. So if you see some guy walking around with his hand way down in his pocket, just remind yourself that he's most likely not playing with himself. He's adjusting the contents of his pocket.