Today, my 3 year old answered the phone. We were riding in the car and he was playing a game on said phone, one of those memory matching games where you're supposed to flip a card and then flip another and if the pictures on the cards don't match you try again. When I had handed him the phone, I was very specific. "If it rings, you gotta hand it back to daddy." He had agreed to this arrangement. And he also knows full well that when I say "ring", I mean the phone starts playing a song all by itself, which here lately is the theme to Aqua Teen Hunger Force, which was just the most rad thing to suddenly have pipe up in a meeting at work the other day. By the way, I played this little matching game for myself yesterday, and I only beat my son's best time by 5 seconds. You're slippin', old man.
So yeah, the phone rang just as I was pulling up to our destination, which is a whole other story in and of itself. I reach back and request my phone, but instead of the feeling of smooth sweet technology, I hear my son say "Hello? Hello?" And then proceeds to have a conversation with my wife, er, his mom. They're the same person. So on the one hand, he's violating our agreement, but on the other hand he's performing a basic task for the very first time, which is always fun to watch.
After we were done, we went on home and he proceeded to not eat dinner, after which he voluntarily washed all of the baby's bottles and hung them on the rack to dry. And they're actually clean. And now he's in bed. The end.
I guess this was sort of a minor bragfest, but what's the point of having kids if you can't brag about them. And pick their noses. My youngest had the biggest goddamn bugger you've ever seen earlier today. Okay, the end for real.