I've got a great idea for a restaurant. I don't know what kind of food it would serve, but that's beside the point. Whatever the cuisine, you'll get to enjoy it while -- are you ready for this? -- a 3 year old runs around your table! If you like, he can sing a song or mumble some gibberish - the waiter could ask your preference when you place your order. When you open your mouth to speak to someone else at your table, the toddler will shout over you, attempt to crawl into your lap, or even demand that you hand over your iPhone. Depending on what night of the week it is, your little table runner may even take a swipe at you.
For a little bit more, you can also have an unhappy one year old seated in a high chair next to you. Any item of food that you may offer to it will be shunned - perhaps even flung at you! When the three year old's revolution around your table brings it within close proximity to the one year old's high chair, they can interact in a somewhat violent manner, the one year old grabbing the three year old's hair, the three year old screaming and hitting. You never know what you'll find when you come out to dine with us!
I wonder if it would make for a good first date spot. Or maybe it'll be popular with the hipster crowd since eating with children is such an ironic thing to do (except it's really really not). You'll scarf down your food so fast that you'll still have the whole evening in front of you.