Gimmemahfugginkeys

So here's something that I didn't know about babies before I become father to one, perhaps you didn't know it either: babies do not instinctively understand their need for sleep. You always hear the term "sleep like a baby" as if to imply that babies are these master sleepers, able to fall asleep in a single wink and maintain a state of sleepitude through any disturbance. Now while this may hold true for some babies, our Henry isn't quite so. Sure, sometimes he'll drift off to sleep, but other times there's more of a battle involved. He's tired and he's pissed, but he hasn't quite made the connection that if he'd just go to sleep, he'd wake up later feeling much better. So he fights it. It's not unlike dealing with a belligerent drunk. Whereas a belligerent drunk might slur something like this:

"I'm fine you sunuvabish, gimme mah fuggin keys 'fore I kill you. You're not my friend. Who the fug're you? Fug you. Get offa me. Maybe you're the one who needs to chill out, you ever thinka that?"

while a tired and angry baby might scream and cry, as if to say something to the effect of:

"I'm fine, you jackass, I'm just pissed off because you won't stop singing in that obnoxious voice. That's supposed to be soothing? Whatever! Maybe you're the one who needs to take a nap, you ever think of that?"

Fortunately, both the drunk and the baby pass out not long after these episodes.