Stand your ass up, dad

I swear to God, my kid can totally tell the difference between when I'm standing and when I'm sitting, and he much prefers me standing. Even in his angelic sleep state, he can tell. I'll be walking around with him, doing the Daddy Wants Baby To Relax Maybe Even Sleep dance, and sure enough he'll relax, even sleep, but then if I bop on over to the couch and sit down, all the while attempting to maintain the motions I was doing while standing, then little dude gets upset again. I stand up, he calms down immediately. I swear, I need a computer desk that will rise to my standing height and lower back to sitting position at the push of a button. The fact that I've been granted enough time to write this entry tells you, dear reader, that little Hank is quite deep in sleep.