Trivial Pursuit - Holmes Version

I was cleaning out my laptop bag earlier, and amongst all the other non-laptop related crap I've been lugging around, I found a program from "Teacher, Teacher", the play I was in a while back. Each actor was listed with a bio, brief bits about ourselves that they let us write on our own with no adult supervision. I was skimming through them, and it struck me that my own bio contains some very true bits of trivia about me. So for those of you who weren't lucky enough to make it to the show to take posession of your very own program, I present to you the aforementioned bio in its entirety, just in case you're ever called upon to recite some random facts about your buddy, The Holmes:

"Travis Holmes is going out for a beer after the show and you're buying, whaddaya say? He seems to recall doing theater before, but that's all in the past, so let's just move on, shall we? He enjoys rolling his eyes, heavy sighs, and saying ridiculous things with a straight face. He has a soft spot for frogs and raccoons. He thinks, no, he knows that zombies are overrated. As you read this, he is silently judging someone, or else he is rebuking himself for being judgemental. He swings eternally on a pendulum between profound sincerity and insufferable snark, which isn't easy for anyone. He can also beat you in a handstand race, and does an incredible cricket impersonation. He'd like to thank his wife and his two boys for letting him do this play, and he'd like to thank his two dogs just for being themselves. So, how about that beer."

It's all true.


--Forgive the typos, I wrote this post on my phone.