Jesus tagged me, this I know...

...for my reader told me so. Black Hockey Jesus, that is. And it seemed a worthy set of questions to answer, so here ye go.

WHAT ARE YOUR CURRENT OBSESSIONS?

I have a longstanding obsession with werewolves, like going years back. My patience is wearing thin with all this zombie and vampire shit, let’s get some real monsters up in this bitch. I’m also developing a bit of an obsession with the craft of comic writing, so much so that I’m finding myself looking at things through the comic lens, like how an event would play out over the course of several panels, how to arrange them, what shots to use, etc. You may have seen some of the goofy shit I’ve done with pictures of my kids, but I’ve gotten pretty deep into the writing of an autobiographical piece. I’ve also got ambitions for not one, but two different werewolf comics.

And to add to that, I’m kind of obsessed with not being obsessed with The Meaning Of It All. Life’s too short. I’ve got kids to raise, a wife to love, plays to act in, comics to write, sex to have, coworkers to harass, a wife to infuriate, shows to watch, concerts to go to, beer to drink, jokes to laugh at, clever banter to banter, sushi to eat, a wife to bring Thai food home to, inappropriate humor to giggle over, etc. etc. ad infinitum.

WHO GAVE YOU THE BEST ORAL SEX OF YOUR LIFE?

It was this little hole in the wall place on one end of a strip center that you wouldn’t even know was there if you didn’t know it was there. I don’t remember how we found it, but sweet Christ it was wonderful. We got hooked and started going on a regular basis. Then one day I was in there and there was just this one dude by himself behind the counter, this same guy who always seemed to be there whenever I went in. He told me it was his last day in this dump because the owners didn’t know how to treat him right, but they were going to be sorry because everything that place served was cooked with his special recipes and nobody else knew how to do them quite the way he could. And sure enough, next time I went in, he was nowhere to be seen, and the gyros weren’t nearly as good. But while he was there, absolute best gyros of my life.

WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

Not sure about the dinner part, but it looks like it will end with chocolate.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR AT THE MOMENT?

Everyone talking about me behind my back in tones of disapproval, dislike, and disgust.

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

My fingers clacking across the keyboard. The baby monitor.

IF YOU WERE A GOD/GODDESS, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?

I’d be the God of Epiphanies and Inspiration because it’s just the best feeling when those things hit, and it’s beautiful to watch a person’s face as it hits them, especially when that person is your kid. I’d have several hundred names that I’d answer to. Worshipping me would consist of following through on whatever epiphany or inspiration I dropped in your lap.

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE HOLIDAY SPOTS?

Oh daaaahling, I simply adore Aspen around the holidays. Wait, what? Who wrote that. That must be my inner rich person. Truly, my favorite spot to be on any given holiday is at home with a loaded fridge and lots of folks.

WHAT ARE YOU READING RIGHT NOW?

I’m re-reading “From Hell.” I pulled it off the shelf just to thumb through it, and realized that there was a lot I missed the first read through.

WHAT ARE FOUR WORDS THAT DESCRIBE YOU?

Myers-Briggs has done that for me: Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving. Doing it for myself, I’ll go with Sweaty, Laugher, Froggy, Cloudy

WHAT IS YOUR GUILTY PLEASURE?

Fuck guilt. It’s a waste of valuable resources. But going with the commonly understood definition of guilty pleasure, I’ll go with horror movies.

WHO OR WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

In a room full of people, I often find myself the only person laughing, often at something that isn’t particularly funny on the surface. Perhaps it’s my habit of seeing everything as a great big performance, chock full of humor for any and all who wish to see it. Or maybe I’m just a strangeoid. Also, my kids. And my wife, she’s a hoot.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPRING THING TO DO?

Sweat less. Drink beer. Eat outside on the patio. Sex wherever.

WHERE ARE YOU PLANNING TO TRAVEL NEXT?

Ah yes, travel. I vaguely remember doing some of that back in the day. I think the next travel of any kind I have planned is for this summer. I’m going to take my 3 year old out to the scout camp where I used to work to visit a friend of mine and to let the kiddo see what he might have to look forward to if we decide to do the whole scouting thing.

WHAT IS THE BEST THING YOU ATE OR DRANK LATELY?

I’ve fallen in love with the pho place down the street from us, though when the new Pho King place opens, they will have to compete for my affections, for my taste buds are fickle.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE TIPSY?

Last night. The wife was out with eldest son, so after I got the baby to bed, I watched “30 Days of Night” while I worked my way through a bottle of wine and tweeted a bunch of nonsense.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE EVER [MOVIE]?

This meme was pretty cool until it got to this question. I suck at “what is your favorite ___” questions.

WHAT IS THE BIGGEST LIFE LESSON YOU'VE LEARNED FROM YOUR KIDS?

If I am to take care of others, I have to take care of myself. I know it’s kind of basic, but the truth of this statement didn’t hit home until I had a kid.

WHAT SONG CAN'T YOU GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD?

Well, I just watched the commercial for The Red House Furniture Store, so now all I can hear is “At The Reeeeed House, where black people and white people buy furnituuuuure.”

WHAT BOOK DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU SHOULD READ BUT REFUSE TO?

I refuse to read any book just to get it checked off of a list so that I can consider myself well-read and be able to look good whenever one of those “how many of these have you read” memes comes around. When a book comes into my life that I want to read, I read it.

WHAT IS YOUR PHYSICAL ABNORMALITY/ABNORMAL PHYSICAL ABILITY?

I do a delightful cricket impersonation.

WHY DO YOU THINK YOU WERE CALLED INTO THE REALM OF THE LIVING?

To keep the breakfast taco population under control.